Motherhood Mondays: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? Or your parents?

On this Motherhood Monday, I'd love to talk about kissing babies.

First, here's a little story: When I was sixteen, we went to visit my grandparents in England. One night, I was saying good night to my grandfather. "Good night, Dilly," I said, standing next to his armchair, and then I leaned over and gave him a peck on the mouth. We had always kissed my parents on the lips, and I figured that was appropriate. I thought it was just what you did!

"Oh, yes, uh, well, Joanna," he said, flustered and almost dropping his whisky. Then he pulled himself together and looked up at me. "You know, I always say, 'A man should kiss his father on the forehead, kiss his friends and family on the cheek, and kiss his wife on the lips.'"

Oh, I thought, blushing a shade of lobster red. Good to know. I was mortified! After that, I stuck to cheek-kisses for pretty much everyone (even high-school boyfriends, but that's another story).

Fast forward fifteen years: Now that I have my own baby, I can't help kissing him all over the face, including his slobbery mouth. I basically make out with him. :) Nothing feels better than drool-y kisses from a baby. It feels instinctual. And I remember seeing a French movie years ago where the mother kissed her five-year-old daughter on the mouth, and it seemed sweet and natural (and chic:).

Funnily enough, though, Alex feels differently. I remember the day after Toby was born, we were still in the hospital, and I turned to Alex and said, "Oh, you have to kiss him on the mouth, it feels so good, you have to try it," and Alex was like, "No, thanks, I'll kiss him right here...on the top of the head." I teased him good-naturedly but, a year later, he's still rocking the forehead peck.

So, I'm curious: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? What about older children? Was there an age where you stopped? Have you ever kissed your parents on the mouth? Do you think it's lovely or entirely inappropriate? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

(Top photo of Toby; bottom photos by Anais and Alain)

Happy Mother's Day

To my mother and all the amazing mothers and mothers-to-be out there. xo

Family photos

After such a long winter, I almost forgot how wonderful and restorative sunshine can be! Hurray.

P.S. The 19 best NYC playgrounds.

Motherhood Mondays: On babysitters

My lovelies, for this Motherhood Monday, let's talk about babysitters.

Our very first babysitter was Naudia, who is still with us. (In the photo above, she's reading Toby his favorite story--he was only 3 months old.)

One thing that really surprised me was how hard it was to leave Toby with a babysitter for the first time. (How old were your babies when you first got a babysitter?) For us, Toby was two months old. Alex and I had planned to go to lunch and take a bike ride, and Naudia came over to babysit. But as soon as we walked out the door, I wanted to turn around and walk right back in. (My heart was racing!) Alex encouraged me to take a break and enticed me with the promise of roast chicken and fries at a nearby French bistro. I downed a glass of wine during lunch to calm my nerves and then took a wobbly bike ride while obsessing about Toby the entire time. I must have texted Naudia 1,000 times during our three-hour date! It's funny because I knew rationally that nothing bad was going to happen, but I felt so anxious--my heart was in my throat. As a new mom, my emotions were so heightened. (Did you mamas feel the same?)

Thankfully, each consecutive time that Alex and I went out, I felt more and more comfortable, and I'm so glad that Alex encouraged me. You don't always realize how much you need a break until you take one. I would return home a much more relaxed, refreshed and reinvigorated mother. (And now, of course, it's all much easier now that Toby's older!)

Nowadays Naudia is like part of our family. We completely adore her. She now babysits Toby while I work from home. When she arrives in the morning, Toby peeks over the banister and yelps and kicks with excitement. She has cute nicknames for him, takes him on "dates", and she even has his photo as her phone's wallpaper. And it's funny how quickly the walls break down when someone works in your home: She's seen Alex and me half asleep, in our pajamas (and one embarrassing morning--when Alex didn't realize that she had arrived yet--without pajamas), with messy hair, without makeup, worrying, laughing, even crying. Since I work from home in our teeny apartment, we're around each other so much; it's such an intimate relationship. It's hard to imagine ever not having her in our lives!

(By the way, years ago, I read a fascinating book called Searching for Mary Poppins, which features a collection of mothers' essays about the complex relationship between mothers and nannies. I'd highly recommend it.)

I'm so curious: Have you babysat before? If you're a mom, do you like your babysitters? Where did you find them? Have you ever had not-so-great babysitting experience? I would love to hear...
(Naudia giving Toby his very first massage. She kept saying, "He's found his utopia!":)

P.S. More about motherhood, pregnancy and babies.

Giggling.

Just 'cause.

Motherhood Mondays: What baby names do you like?

My darlings, on this Motherhood Monday, I'd love to talk about baby names! Do you have favorites? When Alex and I first found out that we were expecting a child, we were so giddy (and, um, surprised:) that we couldn't sleep. So we found ourselves in our dark living room at 2 a.m. brainstorming names. Our top boy's names were Toby, Julian, Charlie, and Elliot (ahh, I still love Elliot). For girl's names, I liked Sophie, and he liked Samantha, but we couldn't decide on one that we both loved. (Girls names are surprisingly tough!)

My friend Nora told us a funny way to analyze names: The Blind Date Test. Pretend someone is setting up your college-aged child on a blind date. They'd ask, "Hey, want to meet my friend Toby?" Now think: How would you picture that person, just based on the name? Would you want to meet them? It's a surprisingly good way to get a feel for the name, don't you think? :)

There are also such cool unusual names these days. Toby's friends include Zelda, Quinn, Sailor, Elodie and Meriwether. (Aren't those all amazing?) The Baby Name Voyager shows you how popular every name has been since the 1880s. (Warning: It's totally addictive.)

So, I'd love to ask: What baby names do you like? Do you prefer offbeat names, or would you stay more traditional? Would you name your child after a relative? Do you like your own name? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

P.S. This baby name book looks great:
(Top photo by Raul Gutierrez)

Motherhood

It's amazing how much you love your own child. Although motherhood can be hard sometimes, and the juggle of work vs. life vs. baby can feel impossible to get right, Toby and his little bald head and his powdery/milky scent and his drooly smile and his throaty laugh make me so moony every time.

They say that when you have a baby, your heart lives outside you, and that phrase has come to mind so many times since Toby was born. It even feels physical: Funnily enough, when I'm away from him, like at a work meeting or dinner with friends, I often get a constant nagging feeling that I've left something behind; I keep checking my pockets for my cell phone and my wallet and my keys, and then I realize, oh, yes, of course, I left behind my Toby!

I read a great Carl Jung quote the other day: "Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important." And I realized that I'd love to talk more about the real-life, day-to-day experiences of being a new mom. So I'm excited to start a new weekly series called Monday Motherhood Moments, where we can talk openly about everything from babysitters to breastfeeding (and Alex will finally share his side of our birth story). (And is there anything specific you'd like to talk about or have been wondering about?) Much love to you all! xoxo

(Photos by Alex)

Dad's birthday weekend

My sweets, I'd love to share a few photos of my dad's birthday weekend, if you'd like to see...
We rented a big house on a frozen lake in the Poconos. My aunt, uncle, cousin, sister, brother, brother's girlfriend, and, of course, dad all piled in, and we built fires, played games and made lasagna. We also went for snowy walks (it was surprisingly wintery!).
We brought 60 candles for my dad's cake, plus another 34 candles for my sister's husband, Paul, whose birthday was the same day.
It was quite a feat.
The birthday boys.
The night of my dad's birthday dinner, I made everyone stand behind a chair to take portraits. A little cheesy, I know, but I love them. (Above is Alex, me, my twin sister Lucy, and our little brother Nick.)
Since we're usually squeezed into a tiny New York apartment, it felt awesome to hang out in a sprawling five-bedroom house. Even the sofa was enormous. Here, Alex and Toby chilled on Sunday morning.
(And one of them drooled a lot.)
Toby was visibly thrilled to be in a huge group all weekend. (One morning when I came downstairs after taking a quick shower, he was happily parked on the sofa between my dad and uncle, watching No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain, like a little couch potato. It was hilarious.)
It was such a great, cozy, relaxing weekend, and made me want to do these types of mini family getaways more often! xoxo Happy birthday, again, Paul and Dad! We adore you!

Happy 60th birthday, Dad!

My dad turns 60 today! This is a photo of his family when he was growing up--he's the oldest of six kids, and you can see him at the top (in his rad roll-neck sweater).

Dad, we love you so much! You light up a room; you're always up for anything, from rainy bike rides to museum adventures to rousing games of Taboo; and, most of all, you make us all feel so safe and protected. (Maybe it's that whole James Bond thing.) I feel so lucky to be both your daughter and your friend.

Happy birthday, Dad! See you soon!!!

Toby gets the giggles

A little video from last weekend. Apparently the word "gulp" is secretly very, very hilarious.

P.S. Toby's laugh has changed so much! Here was his very first giggle at two months old and a belly laugh at four months old.

Our first date

Alex and I were reminiscing last night and realized that we went on our very first date exactly four years ago! I remember feeling giddy and nervous as I walked over to meet him at the Angelika Film Center. We saw The Lives of Others, the suspenseful German film about the East Berlin secret police. It was really intense and my heart was in my throat as we watched it.
Afterward, we took a cab over to Cafe Cluny, one of my favorite restaurants ever, and ordered steak and scallops, followed by two glasses of port, since it was one of Those Great Long Leisurely Dinners.
Then Alex walked me home, and, although I was usually a pretty slow mover (I'm a Michigan girl!), we kissed outside my apartment. The funny part? We were on Bleecker Street, so even late at night, crowds of people were passing by. Three drunk guys passed us and yelled, "Look at the lovers!" Romantic. :)

Another funny thing was, since we both really liked each other, we were searching for signs during the date that the other person was (or wasn't) into it. I got nervous when Alex offered me a bite of his steak, but then placed the piece of steak directly onto my plate; did he not want me to eat off his fork? And he later admitted that he thought the date was shot when I didn't lean on his armrest at the movie, but instead leaned toward the other side. So funny how nervous people can be when first dating!

Needless to say, it worked out, despite the armrest gaffe. And now he lets me eat off his fork:)

What about you guys? What did you do on your first dates with your main squeezes (or past boyfriends/girlfriends)? I'd love to hear...

Toby notepads

We just made this photo notepad on Pinhole Press (my friends' company) and I wanted to share. We're totally in love with it, and I can't stop staring at it on my desk. :) Now I want to make a bunch more with wedding photos and our favorite snapshots.

You can make your own photopad here. P.S. (Wouldn't they make adorable Mother's Day presents for moms or grandmas?)

Toby at the playground

My lovelies, how's your week going? A few readers have asked for an updated Toby photo, so here he is at the playground down the street. We joke that he looks like a tourist in his camera sweatshirt and taxi legwarmers. :)

One sweet update: At nine months old, he's started getting separation anxiety. He wants me around all the time, and when I leave the house (or even the room), he completely freaks out and dissolves into tears. I have to say, it's pretty endearing (at least I know he loves me:). But if I'm working from home and need to go into the living room, I have to tiptoe by him and the babysitter with a pillow covering my head so he won't see me! I feel like I'm in a Charlie Chaplin movie. Mamas, have your little ones gotten separation anxiety?

(Toby is wearing a sweatshirt from Smallable, a bike onesie from A Little Lark, striped wool pants from Mabo, taxi legwarmers and the welcome hat from Oeuf. Since most of his clothes so far have been gifts, he's usually way better dressed that I am!)

NYC staycation

Our staycation in New York last week was really refreshing and relaxing. (Thanks again to Miss Moss for guest posting!) While my mom took care of Toby, Alex and I met up with friends, rode bikes to Williamsburg, went bowling (for real), got massages, sipped gin cocktails at this rad bar, saw The King's Speech, hit up the Guggenheim, and went ice skating in Central Park. It was so great to just be together and "knock around," as Alex says. We felt like tourists in our own city.

We also chilled with my mom and Toby, including brunch at a Mexican place in our neighborhood, where Toby thought the tablecloth was delicious. :) We miss you already, Mama!

Our grandparents

My mom sent over these old photos of my grandparents, who met on Valentine's Day back in 1945. My grandfather was an American pilot stationed in England, and my grandmother was an English girl living with her parents. They were set up on a blind date (to a Valentine's Day dance), hit it off, and got married in August of that same year. I love these photos of them right before they got married and on their honeymoon.

Thanks for sending these, Mama!